Small Town Chick

Small Town - Big Life

Pursuing Your Dream and Avoiding the Dreaded “Hows”

At this time of year when so many people have been making New Year’s resolutions, I want to challenge you – How Bad Do You Really Want It? I’m talking about BIG dreams. Life-changing dreams. How bad do you want it? That dream job? The dream house? The dream relationship? Is your dream a truly life-changing pursuit, or a somewhat smaller goal? It doesn’t matter. There is only one way to make REAL and LASTING change take place. DO NOT THINK ONE MINUTE ABOUT “HOW” IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.


So many times I have had a dream or a goal where in my mind I see the “end result”, and that’s a good thing. Actually, that is a GREAT thing! You need to have that. The end result is what we should focus on. That’s what we should put our energy into.

Where I often get tripped up is when I start “planning” and “making lists” (just ask KenDon – I am a BIG list-maker). Thinking and/or planning on how first “this” should happen, and then how “that” needs to happen, so how “this” can fall into place so how “that” can come to be. Those dreaded “Hows” are what hold us all back time after time. We should never even spend one single second thinking about the “hows”!

It’s hard, I know. It’s very difficult.  I think most people struggle with this when they have a passion they want to pursue – especially when that passion leads them down a very different path from where they are headed right now.

Sometimes your dream is so far away from where your life is now that it just seems impossible.  You can’t even imagine any realistic “hows” of how you would get from here to there. I know, I know. I feel your pain (and anxiety, and stress and insomnia).

Worrying about the “hows” is especially a problem when you are a “fixer”.

I’m a “fixer” type of person. If one of my daughters has a problem, I want to rush right in and fix it; but they are adults now and I just can’t do that. They need to learn how to handle things on their own. I’ll be there for them, but I’ll be standing by their side, not charging in front of them with my sword drawn ready to draw blood! (Other Moms, you feel me? – yea it’s a pretty normal response)

It’s not that you don’t have to work at it, but you don’t have to worry about it.  No fretting. No anxiety. Nervous energy is good – use it, but don’t make a list of “hows” and get discouraged! Stay focused on your dream. There will be many steps to take before you get there, but if you will just TRUST that you have been given the dream for a reason, then things will fall in to place.

So, what’s the lesson here? Well, if you do have a dream in your heart, and you have had it for a while, and it just won’t go away – then you need to focus on the end-product and NOT worry about “how” it is going to happen. That’s why they are  called the “dreaded HOWS”. They just ruin everything. They stop all progress towards your goal because you take your eye off of the prize!

You don’t need to worry about “how” it is going to happen, just keep your mind and eye on the goal, and continue to fuel your passion; keep on working at it; and keep on envisionining your dream coming to realiziation. It will.  Eventually.  Just keep on keepin’ on! That’s what I’m trying to do.